mistic.flame

VATICAN CITY–The damage occurred when Pope Benedict XVI, who was on laundry duty, did not notice a brand new bright-red Hanes Beefy-T in the Holy Whirlpool washer.
Continued at The Onion…

This explains sex much simpler than I have ever heard before. When God makes a rule, there’s generally a pretty good reason behind it. I knew there was a good reason but I had never really been able to explain it myself.

The Right Word For Sex

By Ron Hutchcraft
http://www.hutchcraft.com/

Genesis 4:1a And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain…

It’s amazing how creative parents can become when it’s time to explain the facts of life to a child, especially in the vocabulary they choose. A parent says to their child, “This is your chin. This is your neck. That’s your stomach. That’s your … oogieboogiewagaboogie!” I’ve really heard some pretty funny names for human anatomy – words invented by red-faced parents, but not recognized by any doctor on earth. Of course, they’re better than a lot of the words our children come home from school asking about. But when it comes to sex, it’s important to use the right words – especially one.
I’m Ron Hutchcraft, and I want to have A Word With You today about “The Right Word For Sex.”

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from the Inventor of sex, who is, of course, God Himself. Our world seems to have forgotten who invented sex – and that the Inventor knows best. In the first experience of sexual love in human history, Genesis 4:1 (our word for today from the Word of God) says, “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived.” Now this is sex as it was meant to be, still unspoiled, still the best. And the word God uses to describe it is “know.”

When two people come together physically, it’s designed to be the ultimate knowing.

When two people have sex that isn’t an expression of a deep, intimate friendship and commitment, they aren’t going all the way – they’re only going a small part of the way. That’s not ultimate knowing!

The Hebrew word for “know” here is “yadah.” It conveys the intimacy of two people who know each other as they really are – a deep, personal, intimate, experiential knowledge of another person. That’s why God designed this kind of bonding to be for a lifetime commitment, confined within the protective fence He calls marriage.

Ironically, when you take sex out of marriage, it actually slows down the knowing process. The physical tends to take over the relationship. The relationship becomes more self-centered. A couple stops talking and focuses on the physical. And, as a result, too many people end up married to a stranger – someone whose body they know, but not their heart. Because so many relationships between men and women have been so physical, a lot of those relationships are strangely lonely. With sex dominating so many relationships, a lot of men and women have never developed a friendship – and maybe never will.

When the physical starts to take over, it often masks serious weaknesses and dangers in the relationship – hormones make you blind. Consequently, many people have married the wrong person because their passion blinded them. It actually kept them from really knowing their partner. And they made a lifelong mistake.

Remember how the Inventor designed sex: two people bonded in a lifetime knowing experience, expressing it through the unparalleled intimacy of sex. Anything less is a cheap, twisted, ultimately disillusioning counterfeit. If you’ve made that mistake, there’s a Savior who died for every sin, including our sexual sin, who will forgive it if you’ll repent of it – and He’ll begin to restore your emotional and spiritual virginity. Don’t settle for anything less than Designer love where the right word for sex is K-N-O-W. Know – as in knowing your best friend forever.

(I found this in an email from Rick Rohl.)

A Japanese doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so
advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put
it in another, and have him out looking for work in
six weeks.”

A German doctor says, “That is nothing. We can take a
lung out of one person, put it in another, and have
him out looking for work in four weeks.”

A British doctor says, “In my country, medicine is so
advanced that we can take half a heart out of one
person, put it in another, and have both of them out
looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor interjected, “You guys are way
behind.  We are about to take a woman with no
brains, put her in the White House, and half the
country will be out looking for work.”

And I got this from the CFF newsletter:

MINISTERING WITH GOD’S POWER
Faith, Workings of Miracles, & Gifts of Healings

April 3-6, 2008

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*Airport pick up only available at the Dayton International Airport. FOR MORE INFORMATION: contact Nancy Banios: 937-669-3090 or cffsec@aol.com

Anyways the other point is that I’m taking the SAT test this Saturday, so please be PRAYING for me to not bomb it.

(Ok, I admit it: This blog post was written entirely so that I could post that picture.)

John 10:10b
…I [Jesus Christ] am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly [perissos; superabundant].

2Corinthians 8:7
Therefore, as ye abound [perisseuo; superabound] in every thing, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound [perisseuo; superabound] in this grace also.

1. Love
2. Hope
3. Faith
4. Grace
5. Diligence
6. Utterance
7. Knowledge

Romans 15:13
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound [perisseuo; superabound] in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

But anyways, that’s not the point, or rather the points, of this post. They are (a) meat brownies and (b) pop tart sex.

So last night Nikki were basically falling asleep together, (the “snore, ZZZZzzzz” sort of seeping, not the ‘horizontal hula’ type) (or the Perpendiculat hula type) and we hear that my roommates and Aaron are cooking brownies.

Cool.

So about when the brownies finish, Nikki and I decide that they’re worth waking up for and we both go to get some. They’re pretty hot, so I take my time.

It’s worth mentioning by this point that my roommates and Aaron were playing Kingdom of Loathing before, during, and after making said brownies.

It is further worth mentioning that KoL contains and item called “Chorizo brownies.” These are described in game as such:

These are chocolate brownies with big lumps of spicy pork in them. Just like grandma used to make.
Grandma hated you.

So anyways, I’m eating my brownies carefully as not to bun my tongue. I take a little nibble. Then a bigger nibble. Mumm, warm chocolaty goodness. Then I take a big bite.

Salty.

“Hay.. meat brownies?”

Hilarity ensues for everyone who isn’t me.

Incidentally, half the people there, including Nikki, liked them. Weird.

Oh, and about the pop tarts, I bought two boxes the other day and I opened up to cabinet and saw 5 boxes today. Yea, they’re totally doing it whenever we shut the door.

And now back to my teaching! (I’ll try and get it posted online too, both here and on the fellowlaborers website.)

A hunter leaves his home, walks 10 km to the South and 10 km to the West, shoots a bear, walks 10 km to the North, and is back home. What color is the bear?

First person to answer it right in the comments wins a congratulations from me (MSRP $49.99) as well as the satisfaction of being smarter/faster than everyone else! (MSRP $0.02)

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
A Forever Valentine

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HUMOR OF THE DAY:
Ambiguity

1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?”
   she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow roadsigns?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have “s” in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?