February 2008

Monthly Archive

SAT’s, here I come. MIT, you’re next

Posted by mistic on 28 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

Well, technically, my next big thing is this Fridays youth fellowship. (girls house, 6:30-9. If you’re under 30, you’re invited.) And then teaching Sunday March 9th at CFF. (Be there or be square.) And then Venezuela is next. But the POINT is, MIT is coming.

Anyways the other point is that I’m taking the SAT test this Saturday, so please be PRAYING for me to not bomb it.

(Ok, I admit it: This blog post was written entirely so that I could post that picture.)

Seven Categories of Abundance

Posted by mistic on 21 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

(This is another gem from Rick Rohl)

John 10:10b
…I [Jesus Christ] am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly [perissos; superabundant].

2Corinthians 8:7
Therefore, as ye abound [perisseuo; superabound] in every thing, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound [perisseuo; superabound] in this grace also.

  1. Love
  2. Hope
  3. Faith
  4. Grace
  5. Diligence
  6. Utterance
  7. Knowledge

Romans 15:13
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound [perisseuo; superabound] in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

Meat brownies and poptart sex

Posted by mistic on 20 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

I’ve been getting up at 5 am for the past couple of days to work on my teaching that I’m giving tonight in Cincinnati. You should totally come see me do it. I’m teaching on a big secret that was hidden since the world began.

But anyways, that’s not the point, or rather the points, of this post. They are (a) meat brownies and (b) pop tart sex.

So last night Nikki were basically falling asleep together, (the “snore, ZZZZzzzz” sort of seeping, not the ‘horizontal hula’ type) (or the Perpendiculat hula type) and we hear that my roommates and Aaron are cooking brownies.

Cool.

So about when the brownies finish, Nikki and I decide that they’re worth waking up for and we both go to get some. They’re pretty hot, so I take my time.

It’s worth mentioning by this point that my roommates and Aaron were playing Kingdom of Loathing before, during, and after making said brownies.

It is further worth mentioning that KoL contains and item called “Chorizo brownies.” These are described in game as such:

These are chocolate brownies with big lumps of spicy pork in them. Just like grandma used to make.
Grandma hated you.

So anyways, I’m eating my brownies carefully as not to bun my tongue. I take a little nibble. Then a bigger nibble. Mumm, warm chocolaty goodness. Then I take a big bite.

Salty.

“Hay.. meat brownies?”

Hilarity ensues for everyone who isn’t me.

Incidentally, half the people there, including Nikki, liked them. Weird.

Oh, and about the pop tarts, I bought two boxes the other day and I opened up to cabinet and saw 5 boxes today. Yea, they’re totally doing it whenever we shut the door.

And now back to my teaching! (I’ll try and get it posted online too, both here and on the fellowlaborers website.)

pop quiz!

Posted by mistic on 18 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

A hunter leaves his home, walks 10 km to the South and 10 km to the West, shoots a bear, walks 10 km to the North, and is back home. What color is the bear?

First person to answer it right in the comments wins a congratulations from me (MSRP $49.99) as well as the satisfaction of being smarter/faster than everyone else! (MSRP $0.02)

Tidbits from the CFF newsletter

Posted by mistic on 09 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

The meat of the newletter was awesome, but this here is just a couple of short amusing tidbits:

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
A Forever Valentine

..>

..>

“For God so lo

V
ed the world,
That He g
A
ve
His on
L
y
Begott
E
n
So
N
 
Tha
T
whosoever
Believeth
I
n Him
Should
N
ot perish,
But have
E
verlasting life.”
John 3:16

HUMOR OF THE DAY:
Ambiguity

  1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
  3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  5. The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?”
    she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  10. Is there another word for synonym?
  11. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
  12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
  16. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
  20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow roadsigns?
  21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  22. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
  23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
  24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
  26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
  27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
  28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have “s” in it?
  30. Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
  31. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
  32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
  34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?

The book of Ruth - A Love Story

Posted by mistic on 07 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

The book of Ruth is a Love story. It’s somewhat amazing, because it was set in a time of strict cultural rules and arranged marriages, and yet, Boaz and Ruth were able to work within the Jewish culture and it’s traditions and still came out together.

It starts off with Naomi and her husband, and they have two sons, and their two sons marry two gals. One of the gals is Ruth. A famine hits the land and Naomi’s husband and their two sons all die. Naomi tells her daughters in law to go back home and that their family’s will have to take care of them.

The daughters in law are from different religious & cultural backgrounds, and it was assumed that they would go back to those backgrounds even though they had been Jews when their husbands were alive.

The one girl leaves, but Ruth stays. She says to Naomi “I will make your people my people and your God my God.” And so the two of them go back to Ruth’s home town of Bethlehem.

In their culture, the farmers left some of the crop out in the field so that the poor could go and gather it for themselves. So Ruth went out into a field to gather some corn for the two of them.

The field she went into belong to Boaz, who had been the kinsmen (brother) of Namoi’s husband.

Boaz sees her out in the field and asks his servants who she is. And when he finds out, he tells them to be extra nice to her and leave some extra harvest behind for her. Boaz talks to Ruth and tells her not to go to any other fields, just stay at his. He lets her eat with his reapers when they eat a meal.

At the end of the day Ruth goes back to Naomi and tells her what’s happened and Naomi is pretty happy about everything. They go on like this for a while and Ruth takes care of Naomi.

Naomi and Ruth both knew what a kinsmen redeemer was but I didn’t. Basically, when a woman’s husband would die, his brothers, his kinsmen, would often marry the woman and take care of her. They “redeemed” her from the life of a widow. (It was a lot worse in their culture than in ours.)

So Naomi explains to Ruth the proper way in their culture to tell Boaz that she’d like to marry him, she’d like for him to be her kinsmen redeemer, and Ruth goes and does it. And Boaz makes Ruth a promise. He tells her that while he is kinsmen there was a brother nearer than himself. Basically in their culture, the nearest kinsmen had to have to first chance to marry the widow, then if he didn’t, the next kinsmen, Boaz, was then was allowed to. So Boaz promises Ruth that if the other kinsmen won’t marry her that he will.

The next day Boaz goes into town and gets to gather the other brother (the nearer kinsmen) and a number of the elders of the town. Boaz points out to his brother that he has this opportunity to marry Ruth. And at first the brother says he’s going to do it, but Boaz talks him out of it.

Boaz points out that the brothers inheritance for his children will have to be split among Ruth’s children too. The brother decides he doesn’t like that so much, so he gives up his opportunity to marry her. Then Boaz announces in front of everybody that he will be the kinsmen redeemer for Ruth.

So Boaz and Ruth get married and have a son. A few generations down the tree, David comes out of their bloodline, one of the greatest kings ever. The book of Samuel calls David “A man after gods own heart.” And a number of generations after that Jesus Christ comes out of their bloodline.

If you’d like to read it for yourself, here’s Ruth 1 in The King James version, and here it is in the somewhat easier-to-read New International Version

The Christian Family Fellowship also sells a class by Rev. Wayne Clapp that goes into the book of Ruth in far more detail than I possibly could. I believe the cost is $35; I’m going to get myself a copy soon here.

define:haplology

Posted by mistic on 06 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

Haplology is defined as the elimination of a syllable when two consecutive identical or similar syllables occur.
- en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haplology

Like shortening “Amanda” to “Manda”, or “Four Cheese Cheese Nips” to “four Cheese Nips” (The topic that brought that word up.)

———-

Anyways, I’m feeling a little down today. Prayers would be most certainly appreciated.

There once was a maid from Madras / Who had a magnificent ass.

Posted by mistic on 05 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: General

There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you’d possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
- limerickdb.com

So I was writing this big long post about everything I did last weekend, but it was boring so I trashed it and started over.

Here’s the highlights:

I went to Illinois with Mike.
Mike’s friends and family in Ilinois rock. Hardcore.
I have a new landspeed record: 115mph.
Illinois cops are not as nice as Ohio cops.
The previous two points are, suprisingly, unrelated.
The last quarter of the superbowl was good.
The last second of the superbowl was funny.
I <3 Nikki.

There we go, much more concise than yesterdays (scrapped) post.

Here’s an interesting note to leave you. Count how many people are in the picture. Then watch them move. Then count again. It’s like seeing a bakers dozen in action, only with people not cupcakes.

Six Boys And Thirteen Hands

Posted by mistic on 01 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: General

This one came to me in an email from Rick Rohl. I should probably also mention that yesterdays post came from Francis; he got it in an email from someone I don’t know.

——

Six Boys And Thirteen Hands

Each year I am hired to go to Washington, DC, with the eighth grade class from Clinton, WI where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation’s capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall’s trip was especially memorable.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history — that of the six brave soldiers raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan, during WW II.

http://www.iwo.com/memorial.htm

Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, “Where are you guys from?”

I told him that we were from Wisconsin “Hey, I’m a cheese head, too! Come gather around, Cheese heads, and I will tell you a story.”

(James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, DC, to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who had passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C., but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night.)

When all had gathered around, he reverently began to speak. (Here are his words that night.)

“My name is James Bradley and I’m from Antigo, Wisconsin. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called “Flags of Our Fathers” which is 5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me. http://www.amazon.com/Flags-Our-Fathers-James-Bradley/dp/0553111337

“Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game: A game called “War.” But it didn’t turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don’t say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old and it was so hard that the ones who did make it home never even would talk to their families about it.

(He pointed to the statue) “You see this next guy? That’s Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene’s helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph… a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. It was just boys who won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.

“The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the “old man” because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn’t say, ‘Let’s go kill some Japanese’ or ‘Let’s die for our country.’ He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, ‘You do what I say, and I’ll get you home to your mothers.’

“The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes was one who walked off Iwo Jima. He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, ‘You’re a hero.’ He told reporters, ‘How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?’ So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes carried the pain home with him and eventually died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32. (ten years after this picture was taken). “The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky. A fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, ‘Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn’t get down.

Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night.’ Yes, he was a fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19.

When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother’s farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. Those neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

“The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite’s producers or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say “No, I’m sorry, sir, my dad’s not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don’t know when he is coming back.”

My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell’s soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn’t want to talk to the press.

“You see, like Ira Hayes, my dad didn’t see himself as a hero.
Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, ’cause they are in a photo and on a monument.

My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died.

And when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed, without any medication or help with the pain.

“When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, ‘I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.’

“So that’s the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time.”

Suddenly, the monument wasn’t just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

We need to remember that God created this vast and glorious world for us to live in, freely, but also at great sacrifice.

Let us never forget from the Revolutionary War to the current War on Terrorism and all the wars in-between that sacrifice was made for our freedom.

Remember to pray praises for this great country of ours and also pray for those still in murderous unrest around the world.

God Bless You and God Bless America

REMINDER: Everyday that you can wake up free, it’s going to be a great day.

PS . One thing I learned while on tour with my 8th grade students in DC that is not mentioned here is that if you look at the statue very closely and count the number of “hands” raising the flag, there are 13. When the man who made the statue was asked why there were 13, he simply said the 13th hand was the hand of God.