May 2006
Monthly Archive
“Heck yes! I love legal girls! Hi five!”
Posted by mistic on 30 May 2006 | Tagged as: cool
ok, the full quote was :
some girl: I’ll be 18 in [short amout of time]
some russian guy: You’ll be 18? You’re going to be legal?
some girl: I’ll be legal
some russian guy: Heck yes! I love legal girls! Hi five!
we were all on the ground roling (the russian guy is like 30 and has a hardcore thick accent. and maybe a gf..)
but yea, this past weekend was the shit. one party after another. a bunch of my friends were having graduation parties. the rest of em were just burning shit and drinking alocohol. I got slightly inhebricated myself, actualy. (read: shitfaced.) that was fun.
betsy got a realy good picture of me falling off a hammoc. and by “falling” i mean laying there not falling and two girls walking up with a cellphone camera and flipping me.
but apparently, i’m the stuff: because this is what i have on monday afternoon - and there was nothing there friday night:
yea, i have like 18 websites and i still use myspace. to quote brandons gf, “<3 fuck you. <3″
it’s great being me.
OMFGROFLHAHAHA!!!!!
Posted by mistic on 11 May 2006 | Tagged as: funny
dazed: yeah my mom caught my brother jacking off to Powerpuff Girls
dazed: she didnt yell at him because she was laughing so hard
dazed: she just told everyone at his birthday party the next day
BaileD: You have the most fucked up family ever. Period.
- bash.org
I started laughing so hard in the middle of class.
super smash brothers brawl
Posted by mistic on 11 May 2006 | Tagged as: cool, games
wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I’m not much of a console gamer, but this is cool. and even with out sound (broke my flashplayer) it still made me chuckle. or maybe thats the nintendo wii (giggles)…
I LIKE MONKEYS
Posted by mistic on 10 May 2006 | Tagged as: funny
I like monkeys.
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead.
Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn’t all go bad.I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn’t improving.I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn’t
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the
frozen ones.I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.I like monkeys
- unknown author [via Chris Blizzard]
Gravity sure does weigh me down
Posted by mistic on 10 May 2006 | Tagged as: funny, vid
“CAUTION: Standing on one leg and waving your arms around will not get you attention.”
- Judas Maccabeus
