mistic.flame

The Gatorade Conspiracy details exactly how gatorade has been tricking us, mocking us for decades. And yet I still drink the stuff…

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Ctrl+Alt+Del rocks! go read this

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Saving Stimpy - Stupid People (mp3)

That songs the greatest! And the bands actualy local-ish to me, in Cincinnati. (although most of their upcoming shows are in kentucky.)

Check em out at savingstimpy.com or myspace.com/savingstimpy

[via Audio Gumshoe]

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OMG, i was laughing straight through this thing. From Uncyclopedia

Your main goal in life has to be to commit suicide and think your amazing with you crying emoness, well not really commit suicide, but to give off the impression that you wish to commit suicide. Why the emo’s would wish to commit suicide I am unsure, as many of them seem to have fairly good upper-middle-class lives. [...]

If there is the slightest hint of a conflict with a perceived friend, or anyone at all,overreact as much as you possibly can.

It also helps to have utterly ludicrous hair (usually black, sort of spiky, with at least one other horribly bright color, such as neon green, purple, bright orange, or ice blue) and a favourite band with a name that is depressing, yet ominous. If it is actually nonsense when you think about it for five minutes, this is even better.

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Taken from McGuffy’s Bar Jokes section..

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. ”WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?” he yelled.

No one answered.

”ALL RIGHT, I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA’ BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN’T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I’M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON’T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The cowboy did what he said and after another beer, he walked outside and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, ”Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, ”I had to walk home.”

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yea, i know, another huge post, but this is funny:

this was copied from an about.com post from an unknown author

Terrorism Preparedness Guide

The U.S. government has a new website, Ready.gov. It’s another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old “duck and cover” advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations:

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the f**k away.

Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

If your building collapses, give yourself a bl*wj*b while waiting to be rescued.

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you’ve become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that s**t.

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you’ll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

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this site is prety much gonna be my other other website / blog.. the one where i can post shit about me on that won’t help get me a job but somebody might think is cool.

speaking of that, heres a few absolutely rockin websites that you may or may not of heard of:

• meebo - online chat that connects to prety much everrything and runs incredibly smooth. it has an option to remember all your screen names so you can sign on with one login and password. and it rocks.
• netvibes - my current homepage, and one i think ill keep. you know how google and msn both have homepages where you can put your (1) email account and get the weather and some rss feads? wel netvibes is that only done way better. for starters, it can check both my gmail accounts. it has a very cool reader built in for the rss feeds, and you can have tabs of pages, so all my news / weather / email are on the front page, while i have a second tab for all my weekly podcasts and shows and such. again, v cool
• ask a ninja - absolutely hillarious. ask a ninja is one of the aformentioned shows on my netvibes second tab. ill put one of em at the end of this post here. all the video is hosted by…
• youtube - the front page tends to suck.. but if you dig around theres some realy awesome videos on there such as The Oregon Trail Adventure, MySpace The Movie, Sacred Agent Man, some Gundam Wing (I havnt watched any of em yet though), and tons of other cool vids.

Ask A Ninja Question 18 “Minjas”

oh, and im working on a new theme for this site. this ones cool, but not realy what i had in mind.

sorry for the huge post. ill try to neep em down from now on…

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I bought this domain to do a few things with dns that i didnt wana risk doing on my site. good thing too, they didnt work.

Anyways, now I have this website and no clue what to do with it.
I’ll think of something…

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