Pecans in the Cemetery

Posted by mistic on 18 May 2009 | Tagged as: funny

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and begandividing the nuts.

‘One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me’ said one boy.. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, ‘One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..’

He just knew what it was.. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

‘Come here quick,’ said the boy, ‘you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.’

The man said, ‘Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.’ When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , ‘One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.’

The old man whispered, ‘Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me  the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord.’

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, ‘One for you, one for me. That’s all.. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.’

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Three New Navy Ships

Posted by mistic on 21 Apr 2009 | Tagged as: General

Be sure and read all the way to the bottom.

Three New Navy Ships

USS REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective…… ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes ‘Man the Rail’ there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4..5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability

Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors
that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

  1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
  2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
  3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size

  1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
  2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
  3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
  4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200  pounds
  5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
  6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity

  1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel;
  2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
  3. 18,150 meals served daily;
  4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh  water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
  5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
  6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
  7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation
  8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor’s salaries included).

USS BILL CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC .

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.

It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tom cat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

USS  BARACK OBAMA

Don’t ask.

Do Dogs go to Heaven?

Posted by mistic on 10 Feb 2009 | Tagged as: General

These two churches face each other across a busy street:

[Found in an email from Rick Rohl]

How USA sees the world

Posted by mistic on 10 Feb 2009 | Tagged as: General

Cincinnati home bible fellowship

Posted by mistic on 11 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: General

I have started having a bible fellowship in my apartment on Mondays at 7pm. It’s bible-based and christian, but is not associated with any denomination. Everyone is welcome.

If you’re curious about it, or would like to come, get in touch with me.

I’m now self employed: nFriedly Web Development

Posted by mistic on 11 Nov 2008 | Tagged as: General

For folks who havn’t heard the good news, I am now self employed!

My business is nFriedly Web Development and I make websites. So if you yourself need a website, or anyone you know does, give me a holler.

Birthday Wishes

Posted by mistic on 10 Jul 2008 | Tagged as: General

I’ll be 22 on Aug 1st. I don’t think I’ll be throwing a party, so I’m not really expecting all that much as far as presents go. BUUUUT if you wana get me something, I have a list in the works here:

http://nfriedly.backpackit.com/pub/997778

Cold Hard Cash is always acceptable too ;)

Side note, this is the first post I’m doing with the wordpress myspace crossposter plugin. instead of having to put up with myspace’s horrible formatting bs and let wordpress copy that, I now get to use wordpress and let the plugin deal with myspace.

(This is something I’ve wanted for about 2 years, so it’s a great birthday present!)

Our Real Roots

Posted by mistic on 08 Jul 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

This was in an email my dad forwarded to me:
——————————————————

Our real roots…A history lesson that needs to be told….

Did you know that 52 of the 55 signers of The Declaration of Independence were orthodox, deeply committed Christians? The other three all believed in the Bible as the divine truth, the God of scripture, and His personal intervention.

It was the same congress that formed the American Bible Society. Immediately after creating the Declaration of Independence, the Continental Congress voted to purchase and import 20,000 copies of scripture for the people of this nation.

Patrick Henry, who is called the firebrand of the American Revolution, is still remembered for his words, “Give me liberty, or give me death.” However, in current textbooks the context of these words is deleted. Here is what he said: “An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that is left us. But we shall not fight our battle alone. There is a just God that presides over the destinies of nations. The battle sir, is not of the strong alone. Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.”

These sentences have been erased from our textbooks.

Consider these words that Thomas Jefferson wrote on the front of his well-worn Bible: “I am a Christian, that is to say a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole country will soon be rallied to the unity of our Creator and, I hope, to the pure doctrine of Jesus also.”

Consider these words from George Washington, the Father of our Nation, in his farewell speech on September 19, 1796:

“It is impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible. Of all the dispositions and habits that lead to political prosperity, our religion, and morality are the indispensable supporters. Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that our national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.”

Was George Washington a Christian? Consider these words from his personal prayer book: “Oh, eternal and everlasting God, direct my thoughts, words and work. Wash away my sins in the immaculate blood of the lamb and purge my heart by the Holy Spirit. Daily, frame me more and more in the likeness of thy son, Jesus Christ, that living in thy fear, and dying in thy favor, I may in thy appointed time obtain the resurrection of the justified unto eternal life. Bless, O Lord, the whole race of mankind and let the world be filled with the knowledge of thy son, Jesus Christ.”

Consider these words by John Adams, our second president, who also served as chairman of the American Bible Society. In an address to military leaders he said, “We have no government armed with the power capable of contending with human passions, unbridled by morality and true religion. Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

How about our first Court Justice, John Jay? He stated that when we select our national leaders, if we are to preserve our Nation, we must select Christians. “Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian Nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.”

John Quincy Adams, son of John Adams, was the sixth U.S. President. He was also the chairman of the American Bible Society, which he considered his highest and most important role. On July 4, 1821, President Adams said, “The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: it connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity.”

Calvin Coolidge, our 30th President of the United States reaffirmed this truth when he wrote, “The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.”

In 1782, the United States Congress voted this resolution: “The congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.”

William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the McGuffey Reader, which was used for over 100 years in our public schools with over 125 million copies sold until it was stopped in 1963. President Lincoln called him the “Schoolmaster of the Nation.”

Listen to these words of Mr. McGuffey: “The Christian religion is the religion of our country. From it are derived our notions on character of God, on the great moral Governor of the universe. On its doctrines are founded the peculiarities of our free institutions. From no source has the author drawn more conspicuously than from the sacred Scriptures. From all these extracts from the Bible I make no apology.”

Of the first 108 universities founded in America, 106 were distinctly Christian, including the first. Harvard University, chartered in 1636. In the original Harvard Student Handbook rule number 1 was that students seeking entrance must know Latin and Greek so that they could study the scriptures: “Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ, which is eternal life, John 17:3; and therefore to lay Jesus Christ as the only foundation of all sound knowledge and learning. And seeing the Lord only giveth wisdom, let everyone seriously set himself by prayer in secret to seek it of him (Proverbs 2:3).” For over 100 years, more than 50% of all Harvard graduates were pastors!

It is clear from history that the Bible and the Christian faith were foundational in our educational and judicial system. However, in 1947, there was a radical change of direction in the Supreme Court. Here is the prayer that was banished: “Almighty God, we acknowledge our dependence on Thee. We beg Thy blessings upon us and our parents and our teachers and our country. Amen.”

In 1963, the Supreme Court ruled that Bible reading was outlawed as unconstitutional in the public school system. The court offered this justification: “If portions of the New Testament were read without explanation, they could and have been psychologically harmful to children.”

Bible reading was now unconstitutional, though the Bible was quoted 94 percent of the time by those who wrote our constitution and shaped our Nation and its system of education and justice and government.

In 1965, the Courts denied as unconstitutional the rights of a student in the public school cafeteria to bow his head and pray audibly for his food.

In 1980, Stone vs. Graham outlawed the Ten Commandments in our public schools. The Supreme Court said this: “If the posted copies of the Ten Commandments were to have any effect at all, it would be to induce school children to read them and if they read them, meditated upon them, and perhaps venerated and observed them, this is not a permissible objective.”

Is it not a permissible objective to allow our children to follow the moral principles of the Ten Commandments?

James Madison, the primary author of the Constitution of the United States, said this: “We have staked the whole future of our new nation, not upon the power of government; far from it. We have staked the future of all our political constitutions upon the capacity of each of ourselves to govern ourselves according to the moral principles of the Ten Commandments.”

Today we are asking God to bless America. But, how can He bless a Nation that has departed so far from Him?
———————————————————-
read more at http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/forsakenroots.html

…and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemie

Posted by mistic on 11 Jun 2008 | Tagged as: God, funny, myspace

I was reading Genesis this morning and I came across this verse:

Gensis 22:17 That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

And that last bit struck my interest because a) the idea of stealing someones front door and walking off with it amuses me, and b) I seemed to remember Sampson actually doing it. (Talk about a piratical joke. And people think God’s no fun…)

Judges 16:2 And it was told the Gazites, saying, Samson is come hither. And they compassed him in, and laid wait for him all night in the gate of the city, and were quiet all the night, saying, In the morning, when it is day, we shall kill him.

3 And Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, and put them upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of an hill that is before Hebron.

So it turns out that he had a good reason. It was a preemptive strike, but they were going to kill him so hitting second wasn’t such a good option. I just wonder how he kept himself from snickering (or waking anyone up while he was ripping the gates out of the ground for that matter.)

What he actually stole was the gate from the wall around the city, and the posts that hold them in place. This is a bit more important than anyone’s front door, because it was what kept attacking armies outside. (And if you read how much Samson kicked these guys asses, you’ll realize that they needed any protection they could get.)

And in case you’re wondering, Samson is in Abraham’s blood line. He was of the tribe of the Danites. The 12 tribes of Israel were from the sons of Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham.

Also, if you havn’t seen it yet, The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses over on cracked.com is very amusing. (And just a bit dirty)

It’s like pangea all over again

Posted by mistic on 06 Jun 2008 | Tagged as: myspace

You guys probably know that I tend to “wear my heart on my sleeve.” I’m willing to share my thoughts and feelings with prettymuch anyone. About the only time I hold something back is when I think it might hurt someone.

Well, I’ve had this thought in my head for some time that I needed to break up with Nikki. She’s a sweet girl, I really like her. But I don’t want to marry her. We don’t have quite the same goals in life.

I was mostly worried that it’d be rough on her. I couldn’t see any gentle way to do it. But I didn’t talk to anyone else, because I wanted Nikki to be the first to know. I only talked to God. I asked him to help me out, and to take care of her. I was really dreading it. But I was hiding my feelings.

I am a little bit sorry about telling a number of you that we were doing alright when that wasn’t my true opinion, but I think you can understand. I might do it different in the future, but I decided that this was how I wanted to handle it this time. And maybe, just maybe, I won’t be in this situation again.

It was a bit amusing how the breakup happened. Earlier this week I made up my mind that I needed to do it. But I wanted to do it in person. She has been busy all week and I’m going to be out of town all weekend. So I wasn’t really sure when I’d get to see her next.

Then yesterday I got a text message that she wanted to break up with me. She thought I was going to hate her. My first thought:

That was easy.

I called her up and we talked a little bit and I’ve still got a great friend.

I’m pretty sure that this was the first time I’ve ever gotten dumped as an answer to prayer.. Hopefully it won’t happen again.

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